Lately I’ve been on this quest to better myself, and for good. I realize I’m never going to be fully happy, but I am also never going to be sad forever. All things come and go…ebb and flow and all that goodness and ying/yang of life. So I have found a site that I have subscribed to and I want to share it with you all. It’s called Tiny Buddha. I suggest you look at it. Very inspiring blog posts and a fairly new and growing community on the forums. Anyway I wanted to share part of a forum post by Rajiv Sahay:
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
We all need second chances. This isn’t a perfect world. We’re not perfect people. I’m probably on my 1000th second chance right now and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Because even though I’ve failed a lot, it means I’ve tried a lot too.
We rarely get things right the first time. Almost every major accomplishment in a person’s life starts with the decision to try again and again – to get up after every failed attempt and give it another shot.
The only difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is attitude. Getting a second chance in life is about giving yourself the opportunity to grow beyond your past failures. It’s about positively adjusting your attitude toward future possibilities.
1. Let go of the past.
What’s done is done. When life throws us nasty curveballs it typically doesn’t make any sense to us, and our natural emotional reaction might be to get extremely upset and scream obscenities at the top of our lungs. But how does this help our dilemma? Obviously, it doesn’t.
The smartest, and oftentimes hardest, thing we can do in these kinds of situations is to be more tempered in our reactions. To want to scream obscenities, but to wiser and more disciplined than that. To remember that emotional rage only makes matters worse. And to remember that tragedies are rarely as bad as they seem, and even when they are, they give us an opportunity to grow stronger.
Every difficult moment in our lives is accompanied by an opportunity for personal growth and creativity. But in order to attain this growth and creativity, we must first learn to let go of the past. We must recognize that difficulties pass like everything else in life. And once they pass, all we’re left with are our unique experiences and the lessons required two make a better attempt next time.
READ MORE OF THIS POST BY CLICKING HERE…you won’t regret it.
*Painting used with this post is by artist Jose Miguel Barrionuevo
Yeah I am so happy she didn’t decide to make dinner, or go to the bathroom, which is right next to the kitchen. What a crazy night!!!! If you scroll down you will see under Photos and Videos…there is a video of my mom being interviewed.
Trust is the tear falling from a broken face
Will you pull lyrics from the veins of this broken heart
Another muse on your list of holes you filled
Plant your discordant seed inside an innocent smile
Watch it decay before it can ever bloom
Am I dead inside like you
Just stretched skin over bones
Which you rhythmically brought to life
Your poison soul kiss, and it is done my love
I am sitting here watching the sun rise on a rainy April Fools day. For me this day is special. It was my Fathers birthday. He would have been 63 today. I miss him everyday since he passed. So I’m watching the sun rise as the drizzling slows to a stop and the song by Pantera called “Cemetery Gates” came on and I cried silent tears as these lyrics were being blared into my ears….
Sometimes when I’m alone
I wonder all aloud
If you’re watching over me
Some place far abound
I must reverse my life
I can’t live in the past
Then set my soul free
Belong to me at last
Through all those
I thought I was alone
I didn’t care to look around
And make this world my own
And when she died
I should’ve cried and spared myself some pain…
You left me incomplete
All alone as the memories still remain
I realize that I am lucky to have had the kind of loving and close relationship that I had with my Dad who was lovingly nicknamed “Tiny” by friends. He was waaaay over 6 feet tall and a bear of a beautifully imperfect man! When I look in the mirror I see him within me and can’t help but smile at my reflection.
Before I cry anymore here is the video for the song. Miss ya Grand Pubah! Your Lil Stinker is still causing hell and yes I will check my damn oil in the car!
Tonight after getting to see my friends band play (aka Kitty Plague) at the Ruby Room here in San Diego, I ended my night at a place I go to that is a sort of place that everyone knows my name. My own personal “Cheers” you could say. It’s called the Carriage House and it runs it’s karaoke show 7 days a week. I love to sing karaoke on occasion when in a mood. Or I just go to play some pool, shoot the shit with good friends and have a laugh. But the last four days have been a weird mish-mash of emotion for me. I’ve gone from being overwhelmed & stressed about bills, having a wisdom tooth yanked out of my skull, to getting the news that a good friend just passed away who I hadn’t seen in a long time yet she was close by! I needed some sort of release, well I got it…that is for sure. Let me explain…or try to.
I really didn’t know that singing a song I used to sing all the time was going to make me literally shake with emotion while singing it! Sure I’ve sang it before with the lyrics meaning something to me. at the time. Usually it had something to do with a broken heart or some guy had crushed me cruelly. This time ..It felt good, it felt almost heavenly…it’s so hard to explain. What’s amazing is that it made me finally feel something, made me feel me! I was shaken to the core hearing my voice come out of me with a strength and honesty I hadn’t felt or heard in the longest time. I was open, truly vulnerable, free….I was Carrie again! Oh if you could have only been there to experience it. I couldn’t even stay and hang out with my friends, I had to get home. I had to write about it before I forgot about how good it felt to feel the real me, the strong, emotional, pure Carrie! It’s fucking awesome, really how else can I put it!
I do not know if this will make sense to anyone reading this, perhaps you would have to be inside my mind, body, whatever at the time. All I do know is that I am tired, happy, scared and relieved all at the same time, and I want to do it again, and again. I want to break free again! Let my soul out at any given time and any given place without the fear I have been carrying for so long! Without the self hatred and loathing that I have had for myself for TOO LONG! My god how good it feels to start down the road of loving yourself again…to realize what I’ve been denying myself!
So if you have never heard the song, here is the video. I am going to fall asleep. Tomorrow is a new day with new adventures. Bring it!
Wisdom teeth are the devil. I am having the weirdest thoughts due to the pain meds I am on. I am contemplating just ripping out the damn tooth and sacrificing my tooth to the evil tooth fairy….
Why is the tooth fairy evil? She stops giving you money when you move out of moms house.
Ah well….so this is my life for now. Trying to get work done without blowing things up. Maybe I will get into a random fight with someone and get em to punch out my back tooth! LOL Really wonder if it would work.
Ah well Tard always makes me smile. Gotta love that cat. www.grumpycats.com